


Cluedo

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cluedo, References to Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 05:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So either I come up with some brilliant way to keep you entertained, or you’re going to be use yourself as a guinea pig to try some drugs you picked up off a corpse?”</p><p>“Oh no, not at all. There was no corpse involved. I took these off a man who was on his way to prison.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cluedo

“I require entertainment.”

It took John a moment to realize Sherlock was speaking to him. He looked up from his laptop. “What did you say?”

“Entertainment. I need it.”

“Well, find a game to play,” John replied with a hint of exasperation, waving his hand at his own computer screen.

“No.” Sherlock paused. “I guess I’ll go back to my experiments.”

“Experiments?”

“Yes.” Sherlock held up a bottle of pills. “I confiscated these-”

“Stole.”

“I confiscated these during a recent case,” Sherlock repeated the first few words but otherwise went on without any reaction to John’s interjection. “I’m fairly sure what they are, but the only way to confirm it is through experimental testing.” He popped the cap off.

“Wait!” John flipped his laptop shut and turned around. “So either I come up with some brilliant way to keep you entertained, or you’re going to be use yourself as a guinea pig to try some drugs you picked up off a corpse?”

“Oh no, not at all. There was no corpse involved. I took these off a man who was on his way to prison.”

“All right, I’ll entertain you. Just hold on a second.” John reached for the bottle of pills but Sherlock held them up too high for him to reach. “Sherlock, come on,” he sighed as he stood to try to reach them more effectively, but Sherlock kept raising the bottle up towards the ceiling.

“The bottle’s mine. What do you propose?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know. A board game!” John hastily said the first thing that came to mind.

“A board game? How mundane,” Sherlock scoffed.

“It’ll be fun,” John lied. It must have been a decade since he’d last played one, and he didn’t have any fond memories of board games past the age of twelve. “I’ll just get some friends to come over and we’ll play something.”

“First of all, John, you yourself don’t believe it will be fun. Secondly, I fail to see why such an activity, even if it were fun, requires more than two people. Finally, we do not have friends.”

“You don’t have friends,” John muttered. “Give it a shot at least. We’ll play Cluedo. You’d like it.”

“Doubtful.”

“It’s a mystery game. Right up your alley”

“Laughably easy then.”

“Well, you can prove it then. Give me a few minutes to get in touch with everyone. Go practice violin or something.”

“I’ll do whatever I want to,” Sherlock corrected him, returning the pill bottle to his pocket. Regardless, he strode across the room, walking right over the coffee table as usual, and planted himself on the couch with his violin.

John watched Sherlock for a moment to ensure he didn’t take the pills out again before turning to his phone.

~~~  
Recent Texts, Two Minutes Later

To: Lestrade  
Sherlock’s fidgety. Need to distract him. You free?

From: Lestade  
No.

To: Lestrade  
C’mon. Only will take an hour or so.

From: Lestrade  
An hour? Still no.

To: Lestrade  
He’s going to get himself into trouble again if we don’t distract him.

From: Lestrade  
Nothing new. Legal trouble?

To: Lestrade  
Quite possibly. It would be a headache for you if he does something rash and gets caught.

From: Lestrade  
Sigh. Be there in 15.

~~~  
Recent Texts, Another Three Minutes Later

To: Mycroft  
Sherlock’s fidgety. Need to distract him. You free?

From: Mycroft  
Not really. Has he gotten himself into trouble?

To: Mycroft  
Not yet.

From: Mycroft  
“Not yet”? That’s not reassuring.

To: Mycroft  
If we don’t come up with a way to distract him, he’ll end up getting into trouble.

From: Mycroft  
Seems he always does anyway. What did you have in mind?

To: Mycroft  
Cluedo.

From: Mycroft  
… If I must. I’ll be there in 10.

~~~

Awkwardness set in even before John pulled out the game, and he wondered if he’d made a mistake. It was clear that none of them really wanted to be here, John included. Judging by the rather bored look on Lestrade’s face and the hint of a head-shake from Mycroft, John got the distinct impression that this was the last favor he’d be able to call in with them for quite some time.

“So, um, we choose our characters,” John began, glancing at the rules on the box.

“Professor Plum,” Sherlock responded immediately, snatching the purple piece.

“I suppose I’ll take Colonel Mustard,” said Mycroft.

Lestrade glanced at the remaining pieces and wordlessly took Reverend Green, leaving John with a choice between the three female characters. Lovely. Without giving it much thought, he picked Mrs. Peacock and looked to the rules again.

“OK, so now we put our pieces on their designated spot on the board.... And we need to pick a random suspect, weapon, and room to place into the envelope. Without looking,” he added as Sherlock reached for the cards.

“I’ll do it,” insisted Mycroft, earning him a glare from Sherlock.

Sherlock gave up on trying to take the cards and leaned his elbows against the table, resting his chin in his hands. “John, I’m still bored.” His tone was infuriatingly matter-of-fact.

“Have you played this before?” asked Lestrade, helping Mycroft set up by scattering the little metal weapons in the rooms on the board.

“No but I’ll win,” Sherlock stated, his eyes not leaving the cards as Mycroft shuffled them.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m almost always sure, and I’m even more often right.” Sherlock placed his feet up on the table, leaning back.

John had figured that playing a game with Sherlock would not be the best idea. Still, he hadn’t expected it to be quite this bad. Sherlock consistently attempted to peek when shown a single card, not to mention when another player was being shown a card. He leaped to his feet every time it was his turn, pacing around the room, specifically instructing the others to not distract him by thinking until he had decided which room to head towards next. Luckily once he decided where to move to, he took the rest of his turn with little fuss. At least until it became inconvenient for him.

“Miss Scarlet in the study with the dagger.”

“Sherlock, you’re not in the study,” replied Mycroft.

“So?”

“You have to be in the study to guess the study.”

“This game clearly does not rely upon evidence in any way,” Sherlock said disdainfully, “so there’s no reason I should have be in the study to guess the study.”

“But it says in the rules-”

“The rules are inconsistent! I do not have to examine any of the particular weapons or question any of the suspects to guess them, but I have to be in a particular room to guess it? Utter bullocks.”

Sherlock sulked for the rest of his turn, but his expression instantly turned sneering when Lestrade spoke.

“OK, so it’s my turn and... I think I know the solution.”

“Impossible. You haven’t gathered enough data,” snapped Sherlock.

“I’m fairly sure I have,” Lestrade replied, glancing at his notes again.

“Are you sure?” John grabbed the box to double-check the rules in this situation but Sherlock grabbed it away from him and tossed it to the floor.

“John, you’re just distracting us. So, Lestrade, what’s your theory?”

“Professor Plum with the pipe in the study,” Lestrade answered confidently. Before he could pick up the envelope, Sherlock had it in his hands.

“Sherlock, that’s for Lestrade to open-” Mycroft began.

“Why? Because that’s what the rules say?” Sherlock pulled the three cards out and examined them. His expression froze as he very carefully flipped through them.

“Well, is he right?” John asked after a moment.

“This is impossible.”

“So was I right?” Lestrade asked, slightly impatient..

“Sherlock, just show us the cards,” said Mycroft.

“No!” Sherlock shoved the cards into the pocket of his trousers. “This game is complete rubbish, and I refuse to give it a whit more of my attention.”

“Sherlock, give us the cards,” Mycroft repeated, rising to his feet.

“I am the best detective in all of England- in the entire world! I will not put up with your mockery of my skills.” Sherlock shoved the board off the coffee table in one quick motion, sending the little colored pieces and weapons tumbling onto the floor.

“We’re not mocking you! It’s just a game!” John insisted, but his voice was drowned out by Sherlock’s.

“This nothing at all like solving an actual mystery! Or are you trying to demonstrate that I am bad at games, because I choose not to fill my brain with utterly pointless skills?” Sherlock tried to shove past Mycroft to huff off to his room but the larger man grabbed his arms.

“Sherlock...” Mycroft’s tone was warning as he overpowered his brother, trying to keep him from storming off, but his voice turned to exasperation as Lestrade tried to reach into Sherlock’s pocket. “Lestrade, that’s really not-”

“Do not grab at me!” Despite Mycroft’s grip on his arms, Sherlock was still perfectly capable of kicking, as he demonstrated to Lestrade at that moment. “John, this has NOT been acceptable entertainment.”

John sighed. Next time, he’d just let Sherlock take the bloody pills.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago as a gift for a friend, but I have no idea where I posted the original, if at all. Whoops! Well, it's here now. :)


End file.
